Widower tells his 20 and 22-year-old kids that he doesn't care that his 28-year-old girlfriend is only with him for his money: 'They said it's weird that I'm with someone only 6 years older than my son.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 12, 2026 8:00 PM EST

He did his kids wrong and his girlfriend wrong in one fell swoop. 

It can be deeply painful when your family members don't support your romantic relationships. You want to make your parents and kids happy, and if they're unhappy with the person you're dating, it's a near-impossible situation to navigate. You either have to break up with someone you love to make other people happy, a decision that is sure to breed resentment between you and those you aspire to please. Or you have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of your parents or kids resenting your partner, making every birthday party, family dinner, and holiday feel awkward and weird. 

Sometimes kids dislike their parents' new partners for valid reasons. Maybe their dad's girlfriend is trying too hard to fulfill the role of "mom," and they find that off-putting. Maybe they just don't vibe with their mom's boyfriend's personality, and they don't want to hang out with him because of it. Oftentimes, when a parent is dating after a divorce or the loss of their spouse, their kids' issues with their new partners are based on visceral emotional reactions. Who wouldn't be uncomfortable if their dad started dating someone only a few years older than them? It's not evil to feel upset when your mom starts dating somebody seriously mere months after your dad passes. It's incredibly human to feel upset about these things.

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  • Lazy morning a couple having morning coffee in the bed
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The dad in this story defended his relationship with his much younger girlfriend to his adult children. However, he did so by throwing his girlfriend under the bus and agreeing with his kid's claim that she's a gold digger, despite the lack of evidence that she's actually with him for his money.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my kids I don't care that my girlfriend only likes me for my money?

    My wife passed away when our kids were 9 and 11. I spent the next ten years as a single parent. I was only 39 when Lydia died. She was my world and I couldn't think of another woman. I went to grief counselling alone and with my kids. It definitely helped but it
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • didn't make me want another woman. My youngest is now in her last year of university. She went away to school so I was alone after she left. I started going to social events and meeting women. It was fine.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • Five person standing while talking to each other
    via Antenna

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My friends tried setting me up. Nothing clicked. I met some beautiful, kind, intelligent, interesting women. None of them were Lydia. And that's what I wanted.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • After about a year I met Dianna. She was 28. 22 years younger than me. She works at a bookstore. She reads more than just the smutty fantasy books it seems like everyone is into these days. She doesn't have any tattoos, they just aren't my thing and please don't
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • think I judge you if you have any. I won't go into everything she is except to say she is a single mom with a young son. We started dating after about six months of us meeting. I met her son three months after that. After
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • she figured out I wasn't just trying to get laid. My kids met her when they came home for Thanksgiving. Both of them worked all through university so they didn't come. home for the summer.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • My kids seemed to like her and saw that she made me happy. They were nice to her son and played video games with him. When he went to bed they stayed up talking to us. I thought everything went well.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • It's been a couple of years now and Dianna and I are living together. No plans to get married yet but I want it. My son is married now and like I said his sister is just about done university. My son and daughter talked to me over the holidays. They said that they think
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • Dianna is only with me for my money. I'm not rich. I have a paid off house and a decent pension. I have money in the bank for luxuries but I still work. Dianna still works. I used up the life insurance
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • from my wife paying for my kid's education and also for subsidizing our lives for the years right after Lydia passed away. I worked less and was their more for my kids. I told my kids that I didn't care if she only wanted me for my money.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • I told them that I had sacrificed lots for them after their mom died and that I found someone who made me happy like their mom used to. I said if they had a problem with her then that they should talk to her. They seemed to take it as a rebuke and said that
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • they thought she was just some fun I was having before meeting someone my age. I said I was done with the conversation and would not revisit it. I did talk to Dianna about it and she was a little hurt because she had never felt those feelings from
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • them. She asked me how I felt about it and said she wasn't getting much out of the deal. I said our relationship wasn't me robbing the cradle it was her robbing the grave. She laughed at that and we went to bed.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • Just woke up a woman talking to a man while staying in the bed
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My kids both apologized to me about it in the weeks since and said I had the right to be happy but that it was weird being with someone who was only six years older than my son. I reiterated that the subject was closed but thanked them for their apologies.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • I think I may have ruffled their feathers by saying that I don't care if she is only with me for money.
    via u/Vast-Potential3755
  • Nervous Brother7058 I don't really understand your reaction. You provide convincing reasons to suggest she is NOT with you for your money. Why didn't you lay that out for your kids? Kind of feels like both throwing your girlfriend under the bus and damaging your kids' relationships with her by validating their concerns. For what? Of course your girlfriend is hurt. She got accused of being a gold- digger by your own children and you didn't defend her at all. I'm baffled by why you wouldn't just t
    via u/NervousBrother7058
  • crownandcoke24 YTA. They came to you worried about you. You tossed their concerns aside but also didn't defend your gf AND vented to her so now there's a wedge between them and her? You truly made a mess out of this.
    via u/crownandcoke24
  • YTA Ok_Homework_7621 You basically confirmed your kids' fears and told them to go at her directly if they had issues? Doesn't sound like there's any gold for her to be digging with you anyway. Either way, she deserves to be protected by her partner. You failed at that. Also, it's normal for your kids to be concerned and to want a healthy relationship for you. The way they went about it is questionable, but you actually found a way to make it worse. How did you manage to be a single parent for so
    via u/Ok_Homework_7621
  • noideawhattouse1 I didn't get past the big where you made judgement comments about reading choices and tattoos and followed it up by saying don't think I judge. Sir you very clearly judge.
    via u/noideawhattouse1
  • KaiJay_1 If I was your kid I would be weirded out by it too.
    via u/KaiJay_1
  • pataconconqueso YTA for hurting your gf really, like you validated that she is a gold digger to your kids when she isn't?
    via u/pataconconqueso
  • Guilty_Jellyfish8165 Your kids came to you with their feelings, you got prickly and told them to talk to Dianna? WTF? It's not Dianna's job to defend or explain herself to your kids. Stop being so defensive. Reiterate to your kids you appreciate that they love you enough to bring up something that must have been hard for them to say out loud, also that you're a grown ass man, and Dianna makes you happy, after all she reads non smut books\* and doesn't have tattoos. Acknowledge their feelings and
    via u/Guilty_Jellyfish8165
  • Affectionate Jury3723 You didn't "sacrifice" a lot after their mother died, you were their parent. It is what parents do. While I think what you do with this young woman is your decision, they may be seeing something in her that makes them feel they will be the ones to take care of you in your older years if the money runs out and she bounces. They may have valid feelings about your welfare.
    via u/AffectionateJury3723

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single dad relationships parenting girlfriend widower gold digger dad adult children money
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